Some Days I Feel Like Quitting.

This is one of those days.

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Sometimes you can do all the planning and preparation in the world and still fuck up. That’s what happened to me today. Plan Z also didn’t work as planned. I was already nervous about getting everything right that I allowed a fixable mistake to snowball into a subpar outcome.

It was a fuck up at a time I shouldn’t and couldn’t fuck up. Why am I even doing this? Why am I here?

I’m mourning the loss hard.

I have to. As a creative professional, so much of my identity is tied to what goes on in my brain. I make mistakes all the time, as what comes with getting better. That doesn’t mean those mistakes get easier to dismiss. The better I get at my craft the harder it is to get over a mistake. I obsess over them and it ruins my whole day. So, I have to mourn through my “big fraud” phase.

Today is especially hard. I cried in my car until I felt numb. Then I realized I needed to correct that mistake with the world’s best apology…

Mistakes sometimes come with a price tag.

I don’t know if you have noticed, but there’s a pandemic out there eating into every creative business. And while there are new revenue streams to explore, we are all still figuring it out…